Rabbi Gary A. Glickstein

The rabbi’s sermon went on and on about how important it was to forgive people and reach out to them so as not to make enemies. “Is there anyone in this synagogue who can honestly say they have no enemies?” asked the rabbi. Not a hand went up.

But a few moments later, a very elderly lady in the back row raised her frail little hand. “Please, come up and tell us what you have done over all these years that you can be so confident you have no enemies,” said the rabbi.

Dutifully the old woman limped up to the front of the synagogue where she explained, “I outlived ‘em all.”

We wish each other

May you live to 120 years old.

May you die healthy.

May you see your children’s children’s children.

Long life is our fervent hope and dream.

Somehow there is a disconnect between what we see in those who live long and what we imagine will be our journey to the end of a long life.

Those who live long often must attend more funerals than any other life cycle. Long-lived people often suffer many physical and emotional difficulties. Memory loss of varying degrees is almost certain to occur the longer we live. And the more days and years we rack up, the smaller the chance that anyone will be left to attend our funeral. Most of those individuals whose funerals I conduct have lived lives into their 80’s and 90’s. I have had the privilege to bury a man who lived to 108. And yet, usually there are few in attendance for the elderly when they die and chapels burst with people when the young are buried. As people age, they receive fewer calls and visits. They have more difficulty going out and yet only handfuls of the younger set remember to include them and make arrangements for their attendance at functions. Out of sight, out of mind.

I point this out at the beginning of the secular New Year not to argue for an early death. I am not suggesting we give up our dreams of living many years and dying surrounded by loved ones after a vigorous life free from major illness. No, rather I am suggesting that we look around at those who are, in fact, at the last stage of their journey and we pay attention to them.

I am suggesting that we mine their wisdom and experience. I am arguing that if we are to fulfill our dream, we would do well to help them carry out their dream.

As we do, so will be done to us.

As we love, so will we be loved.

As we give to others of our time and energies, so will we reap the presence and welcoming invitations of others when our time of aging arrives.

Scientists tell us that we are living longer. We are learning to diagnose and treat more and more illnesses and conditions every year.

We may yet achieve our goal of 120 years as did Moses. Moses left a great legacy. He was mourned by the entire Jewish people. We continue to honor him to this day. He died full of vigor, climbing Mt. Nebo. Until the very end, he was surrounded by those who gave him honor and dignity. Surely this must have impacted his health and his longevity.

2008 is a good year to look around at those who have quietly slipped off of our radar screen over the past few years. Let us bring them back and honor them. Let us call them and invite them back into our Temple, our family and our lives.

It is easy to forget. It takes effort to remember. We inherited the world they helped shape. Let us include them in the world we are reshaping.